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My treacherous, yet noble Summer endeavor.

June 19, 2010

Earlier today, I hesitantly entered my local corporate bookstore. Head down, I marched steadfastly to my destination, knocking over book displays and peasants alike. Eyes alight with fear, I carefully looked over the plethora of various editions of my destination. I picked up the least fearful publication, not to burn it, but to purchase it. With book in hand, I dropped to my knees, raised my fists to the heavens, and screamed in protest, why… why… knowing all the while that I must fulfill my destiny. Tears in my eyes and burden in my heart, I wandered to the cashier and purchased my shame for $7.46, leaving the store feeling empty and hopeless.

The book I purchased was, in fact, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

I sincerely apologize if, upon learning this, you immediately Googled how to tie a noose. I beg you not to kill yourself, for my intentions on reading this drivel are not pure. I will dive in this book highlighter in hand so that I may do what others have been too afraid to do: I will rip this series apart, page by page, in order to support my previous claims that this series is damaging the mind of its young, impressionable fangirls, and thus, the whole of our precarious society.

I plan to embark on my journey tonight and I will place a bucket at my side for the vomiting that will likely occur. I urge you to stay tuned for my inevitable hatred-filled first impressions.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Jea9 permalink
    June 20, 2010 7:39 am

    Longtime reader, first time commenter… 🙂
    Good luck! I wanted to do the same thing, but I’m too embarrassed to go into a bookstore to purchase the books. What I’ve heard from is that by the third book she gets a killer demon vampire fetus bitten out of her in a very gory scene. I think it’s because if girls have sex terrible things WILL happen.
    Good luck!
    P.S. Sookie Stackhouse novels are better. Team True Blood.

    • June 21, 2010 9:35 pm

      So True Blood is a book series as well as a television series? Which should I begin with?

      • jeaninehawkins permalink
        June 22, 2010 7:33 pm

        Yes it was a Charlaine Harris series about Sookie Stackhouse. Dead Until Dark is the first book. It still has cheesy moments, but they are really fun reads b/c they’re mystery novels. Sookie starts off not fitting in and kind of hating herself, but as the series progresses she becomes a stronger character and owns her powers. She doesn’t let her boyfriend define her, and eventually learns to put herself first. Plus she reads minds, and she’s a size 8-10. Oh and she has sex…and likes it.

        I almost think the show is better b/c it is more diverse, and it creates interesting story lines for minor characters. Plus if you read the stories, you’ll know the basic outline of what will happen in the show. Some Truebies, especially those on “team Bill” are going to be crushed.

      • June 22, 2010 8:53 pm

        I think I remember seeing those books. I’ll look into those as a contrast to Twilight, which I’m already sick of.

  2. June 23, 2010 12:14 pm

    I think this is a worthwhile endeavor! More people need to speak out against girls modeling their decisions after this series instead of being too book-snobby to even address the issue. And you can’t speak against it unless you read the books… know thy enemy!

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